How to write a condolence message

It can be difficult to express your well wishes to a friend or loved one in a condolence card or letter. Below are some tips that may help you in this process.

Write from your heart: compassion goes a long way

The key is to keep your message short, simple and sincere. Write like you are talking to the person who will receive it. Read your message more than once and ask yourself whether it expresses your thoughts and emotions?

Also important is to consider whether the tone is appropriate given your relationship to the deceased and their family?

Below are a few examples on how you can start your letter.

–       My/Our thoughts are with you and your family

–       Thinking of you and your loved ones during this difficult time

–       My/Our words can’t express how saddened I am/ we are to hear of your loss

–       Remembering your lovely [mother, brother, husband, sister etc.] and wishing you peace and comfort

–       With my/our heartfelt sympathy

–       My/our love and thoughts are with you

How to close your letter

Be mindful when closing your message, try not to make it too distant or formal. You might want to consider something along the lines of:

–       Please accept my/our condolences

–       With caring thoughts

–       Warmest condolences

–       With sympathy

The important thing is to take your time when writing your message and not strive to find perfection. The best thing you can do to support those grieving the loss of a loved one is to show your feelings and write from the heart. They may find comfort in the knowledge that their loved one had a positive impact on other people around them.

If you need assistance with administering an estate or preparing an estate plan for your family and would like to book an appointment with one of our experienced solicitors, call the Public Trustee on 1800 068 784 or visit

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